Here's a Tip

At first, I thought they were Goan thugs. Weird, gelled hair; tight-fighting shirt; impossibly tight jeans holding up squat body; square toed leather footwear from Dr Frankenstein’s castle; adorned with enough bullion to please the Reserve Bank of India; and simpering, overdressed, chocolate-skinned dyed-brunettes and blondes by the side. When they laughed, it came out as a snort.

Tells you how wrong first impressions can be.

On second glance, they turned out to not be Goan thugs—they weren’t wearing shirts proclaiming heavy metal bands or globally renowned soccer clubs. They spoke Kannada, not the local Konknni. They were thug-tourists from neighbouring Karnataka state. Silly me.

What tricked me into thinking they were local thugs was the way they tipped at the restaurant they were gorging northern-Indian food at, harassing waiters for entertainment; I had merely dropped by for a drink, a respite from the sun. Three rupees flung down for a bill they paid for with two thousand-rupee notes and got back scant change. In a modest Panjim restaurant, this is a huge bill. In a panic, I tipped double the cost of my glass of lassi.

I’ve always wondered about many well-off and flashy folk tipping like misers even for good service and abundant pampering of ego. In Goa in particular (where I’ve seen a wealthy businessmen leave one rupee as tip after downing several shots of expensive scotch, hissing at waiters), and India in general, after treating waiters, and restaurant and hotel staff like scum.

Of course, there are exceptions. Front-office staff at several prominent Indian hotels behave as if their spouse was buried at the Taj Mahal. I would gladly shoot waiters in France and lounge attendants at American airports, species even more arrogant than their chefs and heads of state. But my sentiments generally gravitate towards staff, and those who strive to give us a good time.

In celebration of honest toil in the face of rudeness and indifference, here’s a cartoon that a friend sent me a while back. Enjoy.